


the fabric of time won’t keep us apart

by tigerlo



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, but there's most definitely a happy ending, like there's a little bit because i couldn't help myself, oh and a bit of sex because what happy ending is complete without that?, some angst but i promise it's not as bad as it normally is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8846824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: a tale of their almosts through to their finally.
or 
the story of how the universe does it's level best to keep erin and jillian apart.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilRedK8Monster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRedK8Monster/gifts).



> So the inspiration for this came from one of the most epic reviews I have ever seen, let alone been the extremely lucky recipient of. 
> 
> LilRedK8Monster, this one's all for you. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

 

-

 

 

She knew it was never going to be easy, because what part of Erin’s life ever has been, but she didn’t think she would ever come _this_ close to giving up.

 

 

-

 

 

It feels like the universe is testing them, assessing them of their worthiness.

 

Because _surely_ it isn’t this difficult for everyone.

 

And surely the fates wouldn’t conspire against two people so obviously destined to be together, would they?

 

 

-

 

 

Erin would be a liar if she said she hadn't thought about kissing Jillian exactly two seconds after meeting her for the first time.

 

She flies into Abby's midst, a ball of tension and rage and **hurt,** and it all neutralises immediately when she first shakes Jillian's hand.

 

Her grip is firm but soft, and when she looks at Erin it feels like she has a question on the tip of her tongue, and not a hello.

 

Because this doesn't feel like the first time they've met.

 

This feels like they're picking up where they left off in another life where their time together was cut short.

 

Erin's painfully aware that her sexuality exists somewhere in the spectrum that isn't close to ‘exclusively heterosexual’, she always has been, but she's never been compelled enough to act on it because it hadn't felt _worth_ it.

 

Because her life has been difficult enough, and she would rather make do with ‘ _pretty happy_ ’ than ‘ _desperately in love_ ’ if it means she doesn't have to challenge societal norms again.

 

Until now.

 

Because her skin makes contact with Jillian Holtzmann's fingertips and the _universe_ flexes out before her.

 

And she knows it's ridiculous, because things like this don't happen in the real world. But her eyes lock with Jillian's, and a small desperate piece of her heart says ‘yes Erin, but what if they _do?’_

 

After, they go to the mansion and see a ghost, and the entirety of Erin's lifelong struggles are ratified in an instant, and something in her changes when she gets the smallest silver glimpse of what life could be like if she didn't shackle herself to the fear in her bones.

 

-

 

 

The next few months fly by quicker than any other time in her life because _finally_ she has a place in the world.

 

The panic of their almost-apocalypse is all consuming and while there isn't an hour that goes by where she doesn't think of Jillian, there is no time to think about acting on it.

 

There is time for obnoxious dance moves and crude flirting, but also quiet glances across a room and the ghost of a touch along the small of her back, and it's enough to sustain her for now but all it really does is make Erin _hungry_.

 

Because she has lived forty something years depriving herself of the true taste of the world and now that she has felt the possibility grace the edge of her tongue, she is _starving_.

 

 

-

 

 

A small part of her sometimes worries that Jillian's interest is hollow or insincere, but she waits for their eyes to meet across any room and she feels the current arc between them in her blood and she knows that this is _true_.

 

 

-

 

 

She knows how lucky she is in this, how privileged she is in the knowledge that they both feel the magnitude of this tangible pull between them, because sometimes when she sleeps she dreams of different lives.

 

Ones where they fall in love with other people or never have the opportunity to meet, and the pain of _almost_ makes her **ache**.

 

She doesn't remember them fully, but she wakes with tears on her face and knows that she has to do something with this knowledge because it is a _gift,_ and she has been shown the consequences if they do not act.

 

 

-

 

 

The only thing stopping her is the fear of loss.

 

And it seems a small thing, but it's enough to cripple her into inaction.

 

Because she's never been good at relationships, and she knows that unions with the backing of the cosmos sometimes _don't_ work out, and this life they have built together is beautiful and it's _enough_ and she would rather than have this much of Jillian than none at all.

 

 

-

 

 

She knows Jillian can feel the push of this force, Erin won't call it fate because after everything she refuses to believe that she has anything other than complete control of her life, but she can sense the fear in Jillian too because the weight of this feels _enormous_.

 

Fear or no, it manifests so strongly between them that it's not long before their bodies follow through with what their heads will not, and finally they try and act.

 

 

-

 

 

It starts out small and almost insignificant, except it's not because nothing between them is.

 

The four of them sit around the dining table after one of the hardest busts they've ever had.

 

Normally they'd take themselves off to a bar to drown their sorrows in the bottom of a jug of beer, but they're in that bad a state that they decide it's better to go home and deal with their injuries first.

 

Patty fetches four glasses and the hard liquor as Erin helps Abby clean the cuts on her forehead and Jillian sits next to her, trying to extricate the fragments of glass from the top of Erin's shoulder.

 

They had been called to an old factory with high glass windows, where a few disgruntled workers who had at some point died in their line of work had decided to come back and pay a visit.

 

Seven class four entities were doing their best to tear the factory to pieces when they had arrived, and it had taken them _hours_ to capture all of them.

 

They had smashed almost every window in the process, a large portion of that over the four of them.

 

Patty and Jillian had gotten off the lightest, only small scratches and scrapes, but Abby and Erin hadn't been so lucky.

 

They'd almost been crushed when two of the ghosts had loosened an entire pane of glass above the two of them, and it had only been Jillian's lightning fast reaction that had saved their lives.

 

She'd seen it happen in slow motion across the room, and had managed to lob a grenade quick enough to shatter the full pane before it came down on them.

 

They'd still been struck with a shower of heavy glass but had escaped being crushed by the grace of a few seconds.

 

Patty pours them a drink as Erin pulls the last shard out of Abby's cheek, handing her a small compact to apply the first aid salve herself.

 

“Yo, I need some fresh air. I know it's the middle of the night but I can still feel the walls closing in on me in here,” Patty announced after her first sip.

 

“I'll come with you,” Abby says, wincing as she applies the last of the cream.

 

“You two coming?” Patty asks Erin and Jillian, and Erin shakes her head in response.

 

She turns to Jillian, who's currently trying to pull a shard half obscured by Erin's coveralls out of her left shoulder.

 

“I can do this if you want to go?” Erin says quietly.

 

It's not what she means, not at all, because the excuse of having Jillian put her hands on her is better than Christmas morning and Erin thinks she might cry if she actually goes, but she knows how jittery Jillian gets if she has to sit still for too long.

 

“Nah, I share that lab with you remember? Don't want to listen to you complain for days because you missed a piece. Besides, what's the point in having hands that can strip a nuclear reactor if I don't get to use them for good instead of evil once in awhile, huh?”

 

She doesn't give anything away, doesn't look at Erin when she replies, her eyes glancing up to Patty quickly as she wiggles her eyebrows in jest, but Erin feels the way Jillian's hands pause on her when Erin breathes a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding.

 

Patty just meets Jillian's gaze, smiling back at her with a half amused-half exasperated look before she turns away.

 

“Suit yourself baby.”

 

Abby doesn't look at Jillian, instead her eyes fall to Erin and Erin can feel the question between them, even without her speaking aloud.

 

She's saying _‘I hope you know what you're doing’_ and _‘finally’_ all at the same time, and as soon as she registers that Erin understands she's off, following Patty up the stairs.

 

“Thank you,” Erin says quietly to Jillian who only hums in response.

 

It's not the first time they've been alone, they work side by side almost every day upstairs after all, but it is the first time they've been alone _and_ this close before.

 

She can feel the weight settle between them, and it's stretching, sinking its claws into the ground between them and pulling because it knows how close they are to _finally_ doing something.

 

She can feel the gentle puffs of Jillian's breath on her shoulder as she concentrates and holds her breath before letting go at once when she pulls another shard free.

 

It hurts like hell, but Jillian's hands are like a balm against her skin and they're so soft and so gentle that Erin can only sigh into her touch.

 

She closes her eyes and winces though when Jillian's tweezers slip over the edge of a thick bit of glass and she feels Jillian pause immediately, the empty hand squeezing to compensate for the pain on Erin's other arm.

 

“Sorry Er, there's just a bit of bl…. I can't see the edge of this piece. Can you slip the top half of your overalls off?”

 

Erin manages to puff out something between a laugh and a gasp, because the irony of this moment is ridiculous.

 

“I'd make a joke but it just seems too easy,” she says lightly.

 

“Easier than me getting you half naked for the first time?” Jillian says, her face flicking from serious and focussed, to light and flirty in an instant as she winks at Erin

 

Erin rolls her eyes, trying to stop the blush creeping up the column of her neck as she unzips the front of her jumpsuit.

 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry I tried,” Jillian laughs in response.

 

Erin watches as Jillian’s eyes flicker down to the line of skin she's just exposed, and Erin can swear she sees a shadow of a blush cross Jillian's cheeks too.

 

She manages to get one shoulder off herself, that one largely cleared of glass, but she winces as tries to move the other, the pieces still embedded pulling at the skin.

 

“Easy tiger,” Jillian says, her hands settling on Erin's shoulders to stop her moving more. “You'll just make more of a mess for me to clean up. Let me help.”

 

She runs the tips of her fingers under the edge of Erin's jumpsuit softly, sliding between skin and fabric, and Erin can feel the small prickle of static electricity in their wake.

 

She stills as Jillian pulls gently at the fabric, easing it off her shoulder careful not to jostle it any further.

 

At first, Erin's taken aback at the gentility of her actions.

 

Because the Jillian she knows is brash and erratic and careless with her own body, but Erin's never actually seen her with anyone else's before.

 

This is a lie, Erin thinks in the next instant, because she has.

 

Erin has seen the way Jillian moves around _her_ , and it's soft and considerate and _careful,_ and she bends around Erin always and without fail whenever they are close together.

 

She looks down at her own chest before she swears under her breath.

 

Of course today is the day Erin had foregone putting a tee underneath her suit, and of course she has the most inappropriate underwear on.

 

She watches as a blush definitely does settle across Jillian’s features as together they shrug off the overalls, leaving Erin bare from the waist up but for her laciest black bra.

 

“Wow,” Jillian says, and Erin thinks it must have slipped out without her permission because her blush only deepens and she drops her eyes immediately.

 

“Didn't know you had it in you, Gilbert,” Jillian says, trying to make a joke of the tension crackling between them, but it doesn't work.

 

By some inhuman show of self-restraint, Jillian manages to drop her eyes back to Erin's shoulder and she lets out a shuddery breath before clearing her throat roughly and picking the tweezers up again.

 

“Ready?” Jillian asks her softly as her hands settle against Erin's skin.

 

Erin sighs in relief under the touch, her body relaxing instantly in spite of the pain before nodding her head, granting her permission.

 

Jillian works quickly, her fingers moving nimbly over and around Erin's injuries.

 

It hurts something fierce, even with how gentle Jillian is, and she can't help the tear that slips as Jillian removes the last, largest piece.

 

“I'm sorry Er, we're almost there. You're doing really well.”

 

She bites her lip and wipes at her cheeks quickly, hoping Jillian's too busy to notice the tears.

 

And then just like that, it's over, and she hears the clink of the tweezers against the table.

 

She knows it makes her a masochist of the highest degree but she's actually disappointed when she feels Jillian's hands slip off her shoulders (her thumb lingering), and Erin knows that she'd happily deal with that pain all over if it meant Jillian would touch her like that again.

 

“All done and handled like a champ,” Jillian says, and Erin's expecting her to draw away, to push her chair back and put some distance between them, but she doesn't.

 

She's still close to Erin.

 

Really close.

 

Like Erin can still feel the puff of her breath against the hot skin of her injured shoulder.

 

“While you're here….maybe if you didn't mind. I mean I can reach but it might be easier if you….”

 

It's a paper thin pretence and they both know it if the small smile that Jillian tries to hide is anything to go by, but she picks up the first aid cream all the same.

 

“Anything for you Ma'am,” Holtz says with a flourish, and there's this infinitesimal beat where their eyes lock and they both know in their _bones_ how **deeply** true that simple statement is.

 

Her fingers are even gentler than before, and when she applies the first dot of cream a shiver slides down Erin's back like someone walking over her grave and it's enough to make Jillian pause.

 

“I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?”

 

“No, I just….” Erin struggles.

 

They're _much_ closer now. When did that happen?

 

Erin’s body is sort of trapped where Jillian has positioned Erin between her legs so she has the clearest access to her wounds, and Jillian still hasn't moved her hand where it's paused on Erin's shoulder.

 

It's millimetres away from the edge of Erin's bra strap where Jillian's gaze is currently fixed like her entire life depends on it.

 

This thing between them _breathes_ in the small space they're created with their bodies, it breathes and Erin can feels it’s ribs creaking with the movement before she realises they're _her_ ribs too.

 

Jillian looks at her, her gaze flicking upwards for a second and Erin nods the smallest movement, her permission for _something_ and Jillian moves.

 

She bends Erin's body between hers, her hand tracing the line of Erin’s bra strap before it travels up the column of her neck and settles on her jaw.

 

Neither of them are breathing anymore, and Erin could swear she feels time _still_ just for them as Jillian leans in.

 

They're _so_ close that Erin can feel a spark jump between their lips, when the door to the roof slams shut.

 

They jump apart at the unexpected noise, and everything sort of hums back into focus as Abby and Patty come thumping down the stairs.

 

She looks to Jillian one last time before the others come into sight, and she can only imagine her eyes are as black as Jillian's, and her lips as hungry.

 

Something passes between them that says _yes_ and _later_ and _almost,_ but then they push back and greet the others and Erin's body mourns the loss of Jillian's as the moment bleeds away.

 

 

-

 

 

It could be worse, Erin supposes later when she’s at home, licking her wounds. At least now Jillian is aware of her **intent** , and the weight of responsibility for this _thing_ between the two of them, no longer rests solely with her.

 

 

-

 

 

It changes from then on out.

 

This animalistic **want** between them, it _screams_ like they’ve awoken a god.

 

It calls to them both like a siren’s song, and they struggle against the pull of it every day.

 

They can’t keep their eyes off one another, and they both make weak silly excuses to sit far too close, and touch far too much, but every time they get near enough for the possibility of something **more** , something _else_ pulls them apart.

 

It’s a fire in the lab, or the buzz of a phone call, or a thunderstorm born from a cloudless sky.

 

The form of the interruption becomes obsolete after a while, all that matters is that they're ever-present and maddening and they come _so_ close but it's never enough.

 

-

 

 

The next _almost_ is, predictably, an utter disaster as well.

 

They're all at their bar after a long boring week without a single bust, and they're out to blow off some steam.

 

It's late in the night and Erin's sitting in a booth, nursing what has to be the last drink of the evening because things are starting to go blurry at the seams as she sits back, quietly observing her friends.

 

Abby is having an animated conversation about the importance of exploring fringe science with some guy next to her, and Patty and Holtzmann are up at the bar arguing about what to buy for their next round.

 

The two of them walk back over with what looks like half the top shelf between them, and Erin scrunches her brow in a frown as Jillian pushes a few shot glasses towards her.

 

“No way,” Erin says, shaking her head. “I have had _more_ than enough already.”

 

“Come on Gilbert, we've had a fucking boring week. Live a little will you?”

 

Her eyes dart up to meet Jillian's, registering the challenge and the hint of something deeper in her voice.

 

“Take the shots like the champ you are, and come and dance with us.”

 

“Uh-uh. I'll have the shots but there's no way I'm dancing. I'm hopeless, you know that.”

 

She says the words but there's about as much willpower behind them as a speck of dust in a sandstorm, because she knows she'll never really be able to say anything but _yes_ to Jillian.

 

That and Erin's also well aware of how persistent Jillian can be once she has an idea in her head, and honestly the inevitable hounding just isn't worth it.

 

She doesn't say anything, just levels her eyes dangerously at Jillian's across the table, holding her gaze as she knocks the two shots back without flinching.

 

She's up on her feet the second later because while she can't say no, her insecurities are only really being held at bay by the alcohol coursing through her bloodstream, and she needs to take advantage of that before her courage starts to fade.

 

Jillian's eyes light up like the sun on a spring morning, and she's following Erin in the second that follows.

 

Erin watches as Jillian turns back to Patty briefly, only to have the older woman wave them both away with an eye roll and a smirk that says _‘as if you really wanted me to get in the middle of you.’_

 

Buoyed by the heat of alcohol in her belly, Erin spins around, threading her fingers through Jillian's as she pulls them closer together once they hit the dance floor.

 

The funniest thing is that she's actually not a bad dancer once she loosens up, and it feels better than she's likely to admit to twirl around with Jillian at her side.

 

She's not sure how long they've been dancing for when Erin registers just how _close_ they are to each other.

 

It's the closest they've been since the night a few weeks ago, and for once there isn't anything ready to throw itself between them.

 

Erin feels Jillian's hands settle low on her hips, pulling them close but not close enough.

 

Erin wants to do something, **anything** to show how much she wants this, so she twists in Jillian's grip.

 

She feels the other woman pause in confusion before Erin settles herself against Jillian's front, her back brushing at Jillian's breasts as her ass sits firmly against the juncture of Jillian's hips.

 

Erin slides her fingers through Jillian's again, bringing them up to settle on her hips and she tugs, pulling their bodies completely flush together as she feels Jillian gasp against the flushed skin of her neck.

 

The relief at _finally_ having some sort of tangible contact between their bodies is enough to set Erin's pulse on fire, and she's grinding down into Jillian like a twenty year old before she can stop herself.

 

She feels Jillian respond almost immediately after the briefest hesitation and it's, for lack of a better word, _beautiful_.

 

Erin feels the tension drain away as Jillian relaxes and rolls her body into Erin's, and they move together with such an exquisite rhythm that Erin thinks this must actually look like a _symphony_ to watch.

 

Because that's what it feels like in her bones, reverberating through every atom in her body.

 

They move together, and Erin can feel the animal sigh in relief and open its jaws in a silent roar.

 

“Er, what are you….?” Jillian whispers against her ear, her lips ghosting against Erin's flesh.

 

“I'm drunk but I know exactly what I'm doing. Don't you?”

 

“Yes, _Jesus_ Erin.”

 

Erin rolls her hips backwards at Jillian’s words, and Jillian's hands _finally_ start moving.

 

They run up her sides and over her stomach. They skate along the underside of her breasts, coming so close that Erin's breath catches in her throat.

 

She closes her eyes and gives over to the sensations of their bodies, singing at the contact after the _weeks_ spent wanting.

 

God, this is so much better than Erin had dreamt of but it's just not _enough,_ so she untangles their hands and winds one of her own into Jillian's hair, pulling Jillian down against her neck.

 

A ripple passes between them when Jillian's lips close around her pulse for the first time. Her teeth scrape, and her tongue sweeps out, and Erin goes weak at the knees.

 

Erin’s fingers tighten and she pulls them back, twists so their lips are so _so_ close and Erin can feel her blood roaring triumphant.

 

And then the fire alarm goes off.

 

It's shrill and piercing and Erin wants to _scream_ and match the decibels with her own frustration.  

 

The lights come on the next second and Erin sighs when Jillian moves away from her, can't help but be a little satisfied when she finds Jillian looking as turned on as she feels.

 

Jillian’s cheeks are flushed and her hair is messy and wild, and there isn't a trace of blue in her eyes, as **black** as they are with lust.

 

She still has her hand on Erin's waist, but she drops it as Abby and Patty make their way over to them.

 

“Some idiot was smoking in the hall. It's all fine but we should probably go. They won't turn the alarm off until the fire service turns up.”

 

Abby's words are neutral enough, but she's wearing the biggest smirk Erin's ever seen as she appraises them.

 

“Pleased you two had fun at least.”

 

“I don't know about anyone else but I could murder a slice of New York’s cheesiest,” Jillian says changing the subject quickly before Abby or Patty can get another crack in.

 

“Lead the way baby,” Patty laughs, seeing through the diversion easily.

 

Jillian turns to Erin one more time before they leave, and she looks more herself now.

 

She opens her mouth to say something to Erin before thinking better of it in front of the others.

 

Instead, she gives Erin her best wink before she heads off with Patty.

 

Abby smacks her on the back as the two of them follow, and it's friendly enough but Erin can feel the hesitation radiating off her.

 

When she speaks it's without malice but the warning is still there, for Jillian as well as her.

 

“I hope you know what you're doing.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin gets home, not bothering to turn any of the lights on as she undresses.

 

She forgoes pyjamas, instead relishing in the way the cool sheets feel against her still heated skin.

 

She slides her hand down her stomach, closes her eyes and recalls the push of Jillian's body against her own.

 

She comes once, **hard** , with the memory of Jillian's teeth at her neck and then again, quieter but _longer_ as she imagines teeth and lips and tongue finally travelling down the length of her.

 

Teasing and nipping, with the ghost of a smile against her skin as Jillian goes _slow_.

 

She comes a third time, with Jillian's name on her skin and a bow in her back, and Erin wonders if her actions are being mirrored in a bed that is not her own.

 

 

-

 

 

 

In the days that follow, it feels like every force in the universe is flexing their muscles to try and keep them apart.

 

It’s like a magnet with two opposite poles, trying so hard to crash together.

 

And they come close, _so_ close that they can brush their fingertips together but fall short of being able to desperately grasp at each other’s hands, and it's not _enough_.

 

 

-

 

 

Their next week is frantic and Erin finds herself reprimanding the desire for something to happen because truly, this is madness.

 

They have seven busts in the first four days, and by the time Friday rolls around the four of them can barely keep their eyes open.

 

They're picking at dinner, a spread of Chinese on the dining table in the firehouse, when they get the next call.

 

Holtz is sitting across from Erin, her head resting on top of her folded arms on the table.

 

“Ignore it,” she grumbles, her voice muffled by her position.

 

This week had been particularly rough on her, above any of the others.

 

They had come away from five of the busts with broken equipment, the ghosts seemingly hell bent on destroying as much as they could before the women could capture them.

 

Somehow Holtz had managed to repair their gear as fast as it were being broken but it's taken it's toll, and Erin knows this level of work isn't sustainable for much longer.

 

Erin had purposefully stayed late every day this week despite her own exhaustion, just to drag Jillian away from her workbench to get some sleep, under no disillusion that she would regulate her own workload when there was so much to be done.

 

Most of the time Erin had found her still awake, soldering iron or screwdriver in hand at her desk before Erin dragged her out and into a cab, but last night she had actually been asleep, shoulders hunched in a mirror of the image before Erin now.

 

She had swept over to Jillian, pulling softly at her shoulders and whispering nothings as she lead her, still half asleep, to the couch downstairs before pulling a heavy blanket over her and leaving.

 

She had been gone when Erin had arrived at seven this morning, which puts her total hours of sleep this week _frighteningly_ close to single digits.

 

“Ugh, you know we can't,” Abby moans as she drags her feet to answer the phone.

 

She's back a few minutes later and Erin's taken aback at the change in her demeanour.

 

“Suit up ladies. Description sounds like two class four’s and one potential class five. This is serious, we've gotta go, _now_.”

 

 

-

 

 

It is serious.

 

A shudder runs across Erin's shoulders as she takes in the scene before her.

 

The ghosts are waiting for them when they arrive.

 

Two men dressed in suits that look like they've come straight from the twenties, and a woman in a flapper dress who's more solid than any other spectre Erin has ever seen.

 

She's obviously the class five, and her gaze settles on Erin and Erin specifically as they walk up to the abandoned house.

 

They're at the edge of town so there's nobody else around, _thank god_ , because Erin doesn't have any doubt that these three would have killed anyone else they might have come across.

 

“Abby, look,” Patty says as she gestures over to a tree out in front of the house.

 

It's bare but its trunk stands tall, and hanging off the only branch are four nooses.

 

“Those are for you,” one of the men says as he picks at his nails.

 

“Best part is, she's going to make you do that to each other,” the other man says.

 

The woman is still appraising Erin, almost fondly, but when she speaks it makes Erin feel sick.

 

“You last,” she says sweetly to Erin, like Jillian does when she wants Erin's help with something dangerous. “I want you to _watch_.”

 

Erin hears the sound of three proton packs powering up immediately behind her and she spins around to look at the others, her eyes settling on Jillian who looks furious and terrified at the same time.

 

“Well then I guess we got a problem, because I sure as hell ain't dying today, and you're even crazier than you look of you think anything you could do would make us do _that_ to each other,” Patty says, and there's a strength in her voice but Erin can tell how scared she is too.

 

“Oh dear, sweet one. You have no _idea_ what I can do.”

 

Abby’s shot is the first crack that reverberates through the still night, and Erin takes one last deep breath as everything goes to hell.

 

They split up around the three ghosts, keeping them in the middle as they fire strategically into the centre.

 

It’s like a second language now, or beats of a song long since memorised, and they move easily and seamlessly around each other.

 

One weekend Jillian had gathered them all round one of the whiteboards and had run them through a series of play’s, not unlike a football coach, and while they had all laughed at the time, they’ve become an indispensible part of their vocabulary now.

 

Erin’s not sure how long it takes, but she’s shaking with the effort and drenched in a cold sweat by the time they finally neutralise and capture the two men.

 

This only seems to make the woman madder and more viscous however, and she starts disappearing and reappearing all over the front lawn, each time getting closer and closer to Erin.

 

Erin knows the others will never let anything happen to her, but it doesn’t stop the fear starting to drip down her back as the woman gets more and more frantic, until finally she lands close enough to Erin to pick her up around the collar and throw her ten feet in the air.

 

She lands, **hard** , and when she looks up all she can see through blurred vision is a thick tree trunk.

 

Erin shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts, but this only succeeds in making the thumping pain in her head much worse.

 

She’s just about to try and pull herself up, the others about twenty feet away moving to help her when the ghost picks her up by the throat and, fisting her other hand in the front of Erin’s jumpsuit, hoists her up to the height of the noose.

 

“Don’t come any further or I’ll wrap her pretty little neck up in this and drop her before you can so much as take a breath.”

 

They all stop immediately, and Erin tries to struggle but the grip around her neck only tightens.

 

Abby’s voice rings out clear and authoritative, but it wavers as she speaks.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Nothing. _Chaos_. The chance to give others like me an opportunity to wreak havoc without you getting in the way. It doesn’t matter, it's irrelevant because I won’t be the last.”

 

Erin’s vision is starting to darken as her breath becomes more and more laboured. Her eyes are straining, trying desperately to focus, but it’s getting harder.

 

She’s trying to stay calm, can see Patty desperately trying to think of a plan as Abby attempts to keep the ghost distracted, but she’s starting to loose hope.

 

She saves what she knows will be her last few seconds of consciousness for the one pair of blue eyes she could find in _any_ world.

 

Jillian meets her gaze as she whispers something under her breath to Patty, and Erin feels a dull stab when she sees that Jillian is crying too.

 

Jillian’s grip is wrapped so tightly around her gun that her hands are shaking, but her face is calm and still.

 

“It’s going to be ok, Er,” Jillian says evenly, and the ghost switches her attention to Jillian immediately.

 

“What do we have _here_? A pair of star-crossed lovers perhaps? What a treat, I was hoping I’d get to destroy at least one heart before the night was out.”

 

“The only one going anywhere broken is you, baby,” Jillian says, and Erin can hear the fury in her voice before she turns quickly. “Patty, **now**!”

 

Erin watches as Patty loosens a red beam at the ghost and Abby starts firing simultaneously, but the ghost is too quick.

 

Erin feels rather than sees the woman wrap the rough hemp rope around her neck, before her hands loosen on Erin’s front.

 

A second later, the ghost disappears and Erin drops.

 

It doesn’t hurt as much as Erin was anticipating, but it’s still the most excruciating thing she has ever experienced.

 

She panics, her hands scrambling at the rope above her head but it’s too hard, and it’s been too long since she took a proper breath, and the last thing she sees before her vision goes black is Jillian trying to fire at the rope as Patty and Abby rush to her.

 

 

-

 

 

She wakes to a rhythmic beeping, and when she opens her eyes, Erin is surprised to find herself in a hospital bed.

 

Her mouth is dry and when she tries to swallow the pain ripples through her entire body. Her hands fly to her neck, only to find it bandaged.

 

“Erin, hey, you’re ok. It’s ok now.”

 

It’s Abby, sitting up in the chair to Erin’s left.

 

She moves closer, her hand covering Erin’s wrist reassuringly as Erin’s eyes flit around the room, wild with fear.

 

“You’re in the hospital but you’re ok. We’re all ok.”

 

Abby’s words are soft but confident, and Erin forces herself to relax back into the bed when every movement only aggravates her injured neck more.

 

“What….”

 

She tries but it’s _far_ too painful, and her eyes fill with tears as she tips her head back into the pillow.

 

“What happened?” Abby asks patiently.

 

Erin takes a second to collect herself before nodding, prompting Abby to continue.

 

“She dropped you and just disappeared. We ran up to you but you lost consciousness pretty quickly. The branch was so high but Holtz managed to cut the rope, and we caught you and brought you here.”

 

Jillian.

 

Jillian who saved her life.

 

Jillian who saved her life, but isn’t _here_.

 

Erin looks around the room, and Abby understands quickly.

 

“The others are just outside. You’ve been asleep for a little while. Patty’s talking to the doctor but it doesn’t look like anything was broken, just really bruised. You’re lucky Er, really lucky.”

 

“Jillian?” The pain just about causes her to pass out but she’s desperate to know.

 

“She’s outside too. She’s uh…. she’s pretty upset with herself. We’ve tried telling her she’s being stupid but she...missed the first couple of shots. She thinks that if she had made them you wouldn’t have been so hurt.”

 

Erin falls back against the pillow then and the tears prick at her eyes.

 

“If you want, I’ll go find her and send her in?”

 

Erin just nods, eyes closed as tears run down her cheeks, and Erin hears rather than sees Abby shuffle out of the room.

 

The door opens long minutes later and Erin finally opens her eyes again.

 

She looks like a wreck.

 

Jillian is covered in dirt, has scratches all over her arms and face, and has clearly spent the last few hours crying.

 

She looks sad. Sadder and more defeated than Erin’s ever seen her before.

 

Erin sits up, eyes widening in horror as Jillian walks over and takes a seat in the chair Abby had left vacant.

 

“Please don’t talk. The doctors said you’re not allowed to.”

 

Erin fixes her with a look and Jillian smiles a small, sad smile.

 

“They said you’re not supposed to glare either. Just so you know.”

 

Erin sits up, wincing as the skin at her neck stretches when she reaches for Jillian’s hands.

 

“The tree,” Jillian says simply. “I had to climb the tree to cut you….”

 

She breaks off and takes a deep shuddering breath in as she pulls away from Erin’s grip.

 

“Erin, I know you’re probably furious at me but I just want to say it won’t happen again, ok? I’ve never missed a shot in my life and I’ll make sure I never do again. I’m so _so_ sorry.”

 

Erin watches as Jillian folds back into the chair, withdrawing into herself, and Erin finds herself moving without even thinking.

 

She has the covers pulled back and is about to swing her legs out when Jillian looks up and realises what she’s trying to do.

 

Jillian’s up out of the chair in a flash, pushing Erin gently back down into the bed before pulling the covers back over her.

 

“Uh-uh. I’m sure as hell not letting you get out of that bed one second before the doctor’s say you can, alright? I couldn’t….I mean I’m not letting you get any more hurt, ok? What do you want?”

 

Erin mimes writing something down and Jillian understands immediately, jumping up to grab a pen and an old magazine for Erin to scribble on.

 

She writes the message quickly, can feel Jillian watching every jittery movement of the pen until she’s done.

 

**It’s not your fault. You saved my life.**

 

“I should have been faster though Er. You could have died. Thank god Patty could get me up on that branch so quickly or we could have….”

 

She holds her hand up, stopping Jillian mid-sentence.

 

She scribbles another quick note.

 

**Shut up Jill.**

 

And then another.

 

**Thank you.**

 

Jillian gets the gist, smiling a little half smile, and the self-admonishment stops for the moment as the room falls into silence.

 

Erin takes the opportunity to study Jillian’s face as she looks at her shoes, scuffing them on the ground softly.

 

She looks utterly exhausted, and the phrase ‘dead on your feet’ suddenly takes on new meaning. The bags under her eyes are deep and purple, and there’s a scratch on her cheek that Erin wants run her finger gently over.

 

The blonde lets out a bone-shaking yawn before she drops her head into her hands, and Erin writes one last message before she throws the magazine at Jillian to get her attention.

 

**This bed is definitely big enough for two of us. How about we give the nurses something to gossip about?**

 

Jillian reads the message and Erin watches as a small smile pricks at the corner of her mouth.

 

“I don’t know Er, I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Erin just gives her one last heavy glare before she starts moving, and Jillian is up and on her feet in a flash.

 

“Alright, alright. Hang on.”

 

She sheds her jacket and her shoes before walking over to sit at the edge of the bed.

 

Jillian pauses before she swings her legs up, reaches down and pulls the collapsible side of the bed up and wriggles back as far as she can, leaving as much space as possible between her and Erin.

 

“You might have got me on the bed, but you’re shit out of luck if you think I’m going to come anywhere near you and risk bumping you.”

 

Erin just rolls her eyes and shuffles over to Jillian, who given her position can’t do a damn thing but watch Erin get closer.

 

Erin reaches up dragging her pillow over, and she scowls to make Jillian raise her head so she can slip it beneath the other woman’s neck before she lays her own down.

 

They’re close enough again that Erin can feel the puff of Jillian’s breath against her cheek, and for the first time since she woke up she feels _calm_.

 

She opens her eyes long enough to find the light switch and plunge the room into an easy darkness before settling back down.

 

Jillian is watching her with keen, scared eyes and Erin can’t help reaching out to pull Jillian’s hand onto her knee, the touch grounding her before she runs her own thumb along Jillian’s jaw.

 

Jillian moves her cheek into Erin’s touch, and her eyes flutter closed as she relaxes into the bed.

 

Erin can feel their pulses fall into sync as the distance that’s been so heavy between them over the last couple of weeks _narrows_ to the small confines of the hospital bed.

 

Erin moves forward before she can actually comprehend what her body is doing, and Jillian’s lips are about a _millimetre_ away from own when she feels Jillian’s touch on her knee slacken as she falls into sleep.

 

Erin drops her head to the pillow, utterly exasperated but still close enough to Jillian that an sliver couldn’t fit between them, and lets sleep overtake her as well.

 

 

-

 

 

The next few weeks of Erin’s recovery are hard.

 

She’s discharged a few days later but with specific instructions not to talk until she can bear the pain without having to take pain relief.

 

She had woken in the hospital bed alone, Jillian asleep in the chair next to her bed instead, and things have been strained between them ever since.

 

She blames herself, Erin can tell, and no matter how many times she or Abby or Patty tell her, she has yet to forgive herself for the extent of Erin’s injuries.

 

Instead, she avoids Erin and designs a weapon with an automatic targeting mechanism, not once meeting her eye from across their lab.

 

Once her voice starts to come back to her, the pain less and less, Erin tries and _tries_ , but she never seems to be able to get Jillian alone, and it’s more **painful** than all her recovery time put together.

 

 

-

 

 

It feels like a tragedy, the way the universe is taunting them. Holding what they both want so perilously close that they can taste it on their skin.

 

This life, it feels like a halfway. A shadow, a future made of smoke that Erin can _see_ but not **touch**.

 

She reaches out towards it in her sleep and cries when her fingers run through nothing but despair.

 

-

 

 

She has spent weeks, no, _months_ agonising over this decision when something in her finally snaps, and all of her doubts and uncertainties just dissolve away in an instant one morning when Erin wakes, alone _again_.

 

Erin’s had it.

 

She’ll do it tonight, whether the fates like it or not.

 

She’ll tear the fabric of the universe apart with her bare hands if she has to, but nothing will stop her this time.

 

 

-

 

 

They’re out at the bar again, and Erin has spent the whole night waiting for the perfect moment to approach Jillian.

 

She’s waited and waited, and finally she pushes herself up from her seat.

 

She marches up to Jillian, standing at the bar, but she’s brought short when another woman sidles alongside Jillian, running her hand up Jillian’s arm in a move that is so familiar and easy, it stops Erin in her tracks.

 

She’s beautiful and elegant and tall, and Erin can’t imagine how Jillian couldn’t _not_ be interested.

 

Erin watches with a dread that sinks into her bones as the stranger gets closer and closer, leaning in to whisper something in Jillian’s ear and the other woman moves to the side just _so_ , and it’s enough for Jillian to lock eyes with Erin across the room.

 

She must look ridiculous, standing still in the middle of a crowded bar where people move and pulse around her, but her feet feel like they’re made of lead and she cannot will her body to move, or to tear her eyes from the scene in front of her.  

 

She’s not sure what Jillian sees because Erin’s head feels like it’s so full of emotion there couldn’t possibly be just one thing displayed on her face.

 

Because in an instant she feels anger and jealousy and disappointment, but most of all regret.

 

Regret that she didn’t do a goddamn thing before now, and _now_ she might have left it too late.

 

Jillian for her part looks like a deer caught in the headlights, like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t and it’s _that_ which finally compels Erin to move.

 

She hears someone call her name out above the heavy beat of the music, but she doesn’t care.

 

She’s out the door in the next second and the crash of cold air against the bottom of her lungs is almost enough to kick start her breathing, but she’s so consumed by panic and hurt that she can’t draw in a clean breath, and her hands fly to her dress, clawing it away from her neck to help.

 

The bruises are almost gone but the scars where the rope had bitten into her skin will be there forever, and she can't help but feel _that_ panic all over again as she tears the top button off.

 

It’s quieter outside, but the music still manages to permeate the thick walls of the bar and Erin tries desperately to focus on the rhythmic pounding to match her breathing to.

 

She doesn’t know how long she stands there for, it feels like hours, but Erin suspects it’s actually only a few minutes before the door beside her bursts open.

 

She feels her feet carry her away before her brain tells her to move, wanting to be as far away from company as possible, and she makes it a few feet away before she hears a familiar voice calling a name that sounds like her own.

 

“Erin. Erin, wait.”

 

It’s Jillian.

 

Wide-eyed, panicked, _heart-achingly_ beautiful Jillian.

 

Jillian, who probably followed her out of some sense of misplaced chivalry, or guilt even, but who is standing before Erin regardless.

 

She’s nervous. Erin can see it in the way her body vibrates before her, and she wants to reach out and help to still her before she remembers that it’s not actually her place.

 

“I’m fine Jill. Just go back inside, ok? I’m sure you left someone behind at the bar and I’m just going to head home.”

 

“Don’t go. Stay. Please?”

 

“Why?”

 

“I dunno. The night’s still young….or something?”

 

Erin deflates slightly at that.

 

She knows Jillian is trying. That for her, this is tantamount to the one of the more transparent conversations of her life but it’s not _enough_.

 

It’s **finally** not enough.

 

Because Erin is exhausted, and she can’t keep doing this.

 

Because these last few months have taken their toll on her heart and her mind and her body, and as much as she wants Jillian in her bones, she can’t keep doing this to herself.

 

She can’t keep living on the fumes of pretence that someday the _maybe_ will become a **finally,** when the universe has so obviously set itself against them.

 

Erin drops her shoulders in defeat, and she watches as a flicker of panic moves across Jillian’s eyes.

 

“I’m tired Jill, aren’t you?”

 

She knows Jillian understands the weight and significance behind her words, because she takes a step towards Erin immediately.

 

“Erin….”

 

“No, don’t. Don’t say something we’re both going to regret in the morning, please? I don’t think I can take it.”

 

“But I want….”

 

“No more but’s, ok? Look, we gave this our best shot but I just can’t do this anymore.”

 

“But Er, I….”

 

“I’m _sorry_ Jillian. Have a good night, ok?”

 

With that Erin turns to leave.

 

Every single atom in her body is screaming at her brain to _stop moving_ but she bites her lip and does it anyway.

 

She’s not expecting any resistance from anyone other than herself, could see the defeat written on Jillian’s face as clear as day, so she almost jumps out of her skin when she feels a cool hand close around her wrist before she takes another step.

 

Erin snaps her head around and finds Jillian standing close.

 

So close that she can almost feel Jillian’s heartbeat through her skin, and her breath stops in her throat again.

 

“I need to say something. And then, if you still want to, you can go.”

 

Erin doesn’t want to hear it.

 

She’s scared.

 

She’s scared because she’s so weak when it comes to Jillian, and her grasp on this resistance is slipping through her fingers like sand, and she knows that once Jillian starts speaking it’s all over.

 

It’s over and she’ll fall to her knees under the weight of this _almost_ between them, because she doesn’t want to give up.

 

She’d rather spend a lifetime clutching at this shadow, than to give up altogether, even if it **kills** her.

 

She nods and Jillian bites her lip as she continues, her grip still steady on Erin’s wrist, holding them _just_ above the water threatening to drown them both.

 

“Please just listen, ok?”

 

Jillian’s other hand comes up to sweep the hair away from Erin’s eyes and wipe at a tear she hadn’t even realised had fallen.

 

“Nothing would have happened, with the woman at the bar. I need you to know that. Can you tell me that you know that?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Come on Er, you know why not.”

 

“But….”

 

“Uh-uh, it’s my turn, please?”

 

Erin bites her lip and nods.

 

“I know it hasn’t been easy, and it feels like shit has been holding us apart like the fate of the fucking _universe_ depends on it but I don’t care. I don’t care because I’ll fight for this until my knuckles are bloody every fucking day for the rest of my life if I have to.”

 

“I don’t want it to be this hard,” Erin says, crying properly now.

 

“It won’t be. I _promise_ it won’t be.”

 

“How do you know that though Jill?”

 

“Can’t you feel this thing between us? I don’t think it feels like this for anyone else. I know it makes me sound crazy but I think….I think this has been a test. To make sure we’re worthy of whatever this is. Because it feels like a responsibility.”

 

“What do we do?”

 

“I’ve got a theory, if you’re interested? What have we got to loose, right?”

 

_Nothing_.

 

**Everything**.

 

Erin wants to scream everything, because she’s never believed in true love before but even that feels woefully insignificant compared to this.

 

She knows there’s nothing else that comes close to describing what she feels for Jillian short of the birth of a star, or the beginning of time.

 

And **that’s** what they’ve got to lose if this doesn’t work.

 

“Do you trust me?” Jillian asks, her tongue balancing on the tip of one of her canines.

 

“Always,” Erin replies, without thinking.

 

Jillian’s test is much simpler than Erin had been anticipating.

 

It’s simple and it’s easy and it’s perfect.

 

Jillian kisses her.

 

Jillian kisses Erin, and the world tilts on its axis as the ground falls away beneath their feet.

 

The weight of resistance bows before them in acquiescence, and Erin knows at once that Jillian is right.

 

She knows this had been a test, and she knows they have won.

 

Erin knows, because she feels the planets _shift_ above them, and the bonds that have been holding them apart **shatter** at her wrists, and they come together with such effortless ease that finally, for the first time in what feels like her whole life, Erin can _breathe_.

 

“Home?” Jillian asks her simply, holding her hand out for Erin to take.

 

For now. For ever.

 

“Home.”

 

 

-

 

 

When they get back and strip each other of their clothing, Erin feels the burden of their _almosts_ shift into something **eternal** , like the loop is closed, and she knows that nothing will ever be _almost_ again.

 

Their hands move over each other like they’ve been hungry their whole lives.

 

They fall blindly against every surface on the way to the bedroom. Against the front door, on the kitchen table, over the edge of the couch, until finally they fall into Erin's bed.

 

Jillian lays her down and licks her lips, and Erin can feel the creature lock its claws and _drag_ them down her back as she arches off the bed and into Jillian's arms.

 

 

-

 

 

It's magnificent.

 

The heavens pause to watch them as Jillian slowly peels away each piece of clothing like they're spun with gold, and Erin moans back to the sky.

 

 

-

 

 

“Tell me what you want Er.”

 

“Anything Jill. _Everything_.”

 

 

-

 

 

It feels like hours pass before they're both fully bare, and when they finally move against each other they moan so loudly at the relief that Erin's worried the neighbours might actually call the police.

 

 

-

 

 

“ _Christ_ Er, you're so….”

 

“Can you blame me? I've been wanting you for _years_.”

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian finally slides inside her, slow and deep with two fingers, and she throws out a hand, muffling Erin's scream, but Erin can't help it because it's just _so_ good.

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh my _god_ Jill, where did you even learn that?”

 

“Do you want me to st…”

 

“No, no. _God_ no. Don't stop.”

 

 

-

 

 

She drags her nails down Jillian's back, leaving pretty pink lines in her wake, and Jillian hisses but just pushes _harder_ and _harder_ until Erin doesn't see anything but stars.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian moves inside her unceasingly. Again and again until Erin's sure she can't handle much more.

 

She almost pushes back, but then Jillian drops her mouth and sends Erin over the edge with her teeth at Erin's neck, hard over her scars like she's trying to re-write the memory, and Erin just thinks _good_ and **_harder_** as she comes again.

 

 

-

 

 

When she finally touches Jillian she feels the earth shift and ties anchor them with steel cables, and she knows in an instant that she will never touch anyone else in this life or any to come.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian is liquid beneath her.

 

She bends and twists, always following Erin’s hands, sighing with a **deep** relief when they touch.

 

Erin maps her entire body with sweeping hands before she even touches her properly.

 

She traces the faded lines of scars, most strangers to Erin, but some more familiar than her own.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's nervous because for all her earlier courage, she's never actually done this before, but Jillian's voice at her ear is soft and Erin knows at once that nothing she could do would ever be **wrong,** and yet….

 

But then she pauses, and she _stills_ , because actually, she knows each curve and dip of Jillian's body with her eyes closed.

 

So she moves blind, letting her soul lead the way at first, and then Jillian starts moving desperately beneath her and she lets her body take over.

 

 

-

 

 

“ _Fuck_ Er, _yes_.”

 

“Is this ok?”

 

“Yes. Curl your fingers when you push in and…. _god_.”

 

“Like that?”

 

“ _Yes_. Like that.”

 

 

-

 

 

“How did you even, _Jesus_ _Erin_ , know I like that?”

 

“Beginners luck?”

 

“That's bullshit, no one’s this good on their first _uhhh_.”

 

 

-

 

 

It feels like the heavens intervene and take over her body, because suddenly she knows exactly where to kiss and touch and bite, and Jillian _loses_ it beneath her.

 

It could be luck, sure, but Erin thinks it's proof that they've had their time together before.

 

In another life and another age.

 

Because they move with such a practised ease that it makes Erin want to _sob,_ and it feels like different iterations of them are watching her bend and stretch across Jillian's body.

 

And they're crying in relief too.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian is quiet the first few times Erin brings her to the brink, like she's holding back.

 

Her voice is muted, like she's trying not to disturb the air between them in case something stops them, but Erin knows it won't.

 

She _pushes_ and _pushes_ because she wants Jillian to know the release that she has, wants her to know in her bones that nothing will stop them now.

 

So she pauses.

 

She slows the movements of her hands, and tries to match it to the pulsing of the universe she can feel in her veins.

 

“Ssshhh Jill, _listen_.”

 

They both still and wait, until the sound of the stars singing to them reaches their skin.

 

“It's done, it's **over**. It's just us now. Can't you feel it?”

 

She closes her eyes and waits for Jillian's chest to expand as she takes a deep breath, tasting the freedom on her tongue, and when she sighs, Erin can feel the fight drain away because _they don't need it any more_.

 

She drops her mouth to Jillian's breast and sucks, teasing the blood to the surface as her hands start to move again.

 

The third time round and Jillian has to bite into Erin's shoulder to stop herself screaming.

 

 

-

 

 

It's beautiful.

 

Erin loses count of the times they come, because really it doesn't matter.

 

They're only adding to a number that's greater than infinity anyway.

 

They come their mouths and with their hands and then much later, with things hidden under her bed that she's never shown anyone before.

 

“Erin Gilbert, colour me shocked.”

 

“Shut up. I've never actually used it before.”

 

“I should hope not given I'm the first girl you've had in your bed. Has there been someone else you….?”

 

“It was for you. For us, I mean. For some day.”

 

“Well I am jolly glad that past you was so thoughtful. May I?”

 

“You want to wear it?”

 

“Yeah, I normally do. I mean….”

 

“It's ok Jill. I'm glad one of us knows what to do.”

 

“Oh Erin, baby. You have _no_ idea.”

 

 

-

 

 

The next makes Erin lose her breath completely, because it's never ever been this good. Even with the real thing.

 

Jillian moves like it's an extension of her own body and she curls her fingers around Erin's knees, pulling them closer.

 

-

 

 

“Er, do you think you're….?”

 

“Ready. I'm ready.”

 

“I'll go slow. Just tell me if I'm….”

 

“Jill? Shut up and _move_.”

 

“As you wish ma'am.”

 

_A gasp._

 

“Oh _god_ , yes. Just like that.”

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian is relentless, and for a moment Erin's actually worried that they’ll break the bed.

 

Each thrust feels like it might actually turn her inside out, and she moans her recovering voice hoarse with the effort to keep quiet.

 

She comes with her nails deep in Jillian's back and her leg thrown around her waist, their hips locked together.

 

She arches her back, and Jillian's name moves between her bones as the universe settles around them.

 

 

-

 

 

“So this is it, huh?”

 

Jillian's voice is quiet and shy in the darkness between them, hours and hours later.

 

A current runs clear through their joint hands, and Erin brings them to her lips, placing a kiss on Jillian's knuckles.

 

“This is it,” Erin answers, and she feels a heavy and reassuring sense of calm wash over her. “Does that scare you?”

 

“No,” Jillian says simply. “It makes me feel…. _at peac_ e. Like this is where we were supposed to be all along. Does that sound stupid?”

 

“No,” Erin replies and she's never been surer of anything in her entire life.

 

Nothing until the next words fall from her lips, at least.

 

“Hey Jill?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you.”

 

It's simple, and yet it's the single most meaningful thing Erin’s ever spoken in her entire life.

 

She feels the calm yawn out and take hold of Jillian too, and she bends towards Erin, smiling from the deepest part of herself.

 

“I know.”

 

_A beat._

 

“I love you too.”

 

Jillian speaks and they fall into each other again.

 

They fall, and their blood bows to the truth in their voices, and the beast between them stills, _finds peace_ , at last.

 

 

-

 

**Author's Note:**

> Have I told you all how much I adore you for reading, because I love you. I really do. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought? 
> 
> x


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